If You Like It, Then You Shoulda

Put a Ring On It.

>> THE SCENE: My friend’s open rooftop deck in TriBeCa. Also, my nails look better holding a wine spritz. P.S. DIY gel nail stickers are bomb.

Hi Lady,

Welcome to The Search Scene issue #4! 

This pandemic has “got me looking so crazy right now.” I need a new haircut, a mani-pedi, a facial, and a massage -- anyone else with me? Although coronavirus may have affected our primping routines for the office or a date, the bright side is that we do have some more time for self-care and reflection.

Some of you may be wondering how to approach the job and/or the love search during this time. Like, how do I approach finding a new job when unemployment is on the rise? Or, how do I meet someone when no one can socialize in person? If you’re on social media or just surfing the web, you know that brands, influencers, and companies are out there doing their best to help by churning out content and resources, but it may all feel overwhelming. I’m not here to reinvent the wheel... but to help spin it. I’m here to help break down the search for both work and love while providing some inspiration along the way. So, let’s get to it.

P.S. If you like this newsletter, share it with a friend!

Share The Search Scene Edit


“It’s not you, it’s me. It wasn’t a good fit. I feel like a failure. It’s all my fault. We’ve outgrown each other. We want different things. We aren’t getting along anymore. We are too different. This wasn’t what I signed up for. I wasn’t getting promoted. I didn’t get what I was promised. I’m not happy. I’m not growing. I’m not me. It wasn’t meant to be.”

Blurred lines, right? It sucks when you go through a break-up, and also when you feel like you’re going to be let go. Both involve feelings of regret, guilt, shame, self-blame, etc. Your ego is bruised and you are left spiraling downward into a dark hole, anxious about the future because you were blindsided and thought it was all going to work out. But let me tell you, honey, life never goes according to plan... and it usually works out for the BETTER

One of the darkest times in my life was working a job where I was bullied, while also staying in a bad relationship. I felt stuck and hopeless trying to make it all work when neither the job nor the boyfriend was a good fit. When I self-reflect, I realized the relationship with my boyfriend and my boss were similar -- we just weren’t a good match, and one of us was putting in more effort than the other to make it work. Where I did fall short was staying in both for too long, ultimately dismissing my needs and wants in both. How did I let go of being let go? As cliche as it sounds, I learned that I needed to put myself first, and love myself. I also learned how to recharge my batteries with these “4Ps of Making It” -- having patience, passion, perseverance, and purpose.

No one is perfect and you should be equally giving in your relationships, but when you think about the value-add the relationship gives to you, try asking yourself if this relationship helps to promote and inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Whether it is your boss or partner, the person whom you enter a relationship with, should care for you and want what’s best for you and your livelihood. Did he like it enough to put a ring on it? Did she like your performance enough to give you a promotion? If not, then thank u, next. 

As cheesy as this sounds, true love in work and true love are the same. Both involve an inspirational type of growth that promotes you to the next level.

Oh, and let me remind you that IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.

P.S. If you like this newsletter, share it with a friend!

Share The Search Scene Edit




  • June 22nd: Sneaky Ways to Save Money by Career Contessa, WYHT (when you have time), watch here.

  • June 23rd: How to Use Negotiation Tactics to Get What You Want by Career Contessa, WYHT (when you have time), watch here.

  • June 24th - Fireside Chat: Gwenyth Paltrow & Chelsea Handler, Cost: FREE, Tune in Here LIVE @ 3-4 PM EST.

  • June 24th - Black Female Founder Spotlight: Janelle Benjamin, Cost: FREE, Register here

  • June 26th - Foundermade Wellness Showroom, Cost: FREE, Register here.

  • June 29th - Making Waves Digital Fireside Chat with Steph Shep, Cost: FREE, Register here



P.S. If you like what you read, share it with a friend!

Share The Search Scene Edit

Stay tuned for our next newsletter, which will reveal our new look. ;)


The Search Scene